Can't see

by rejectedfromlove   Jul 24, 2006


Why can't i see
that we could never be
you hurt so much
but i still think of his touch
my love is to strong
and everything he do is wrong
but i just cant leave
someone i invested my time on friends is what i thought we could be
and somewhere along
you just did me wrong
you broke my dreams, and then my hearts
but i will all stay in love with you

can y'all pleas comment and rate my poem

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  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha

    Hey. I really liked your poem. However, I do have a suggestion for you. Although your poem did have a very good point, I personally find it extremly hard to take a peice of literature serisously when words are abbrivated. It also makes your poem more attractive for readers to read and makes it look less messy. But, that is only my opinion. Like I said before, I really like the thought behind this poem. It was just a tad hard to read. I hope I've helped in some way.

    -sammie.

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