Hey. I really liked your poem. However, I do have a suggestion for you. Although your poem did have a very good point, I personally find it extremly hard to take a peice of literature serisously when words are abbrivated. It also makes your poem more attractive for readers to read and makes it look less messy. But, that is only my opinion. Like I said before, I really like the thought behind this poem. It was just a tad hard to read. I hope I've helped in some way.

-sammie.