Comments : A day thats good

  • 18 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Wow, beautiful one. home sweet home,
    by reading it i can rell taht you left that place for a while and know u returned right?
    it is a cute poem, i like it
    you got 5/5 from me,

  • 18 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    Beautifully done. I love the upbeat tone this has despite the sadness behind. Hope you have more good days.

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    Sorry but I need to comment this honestly:
    Finally,a day thats good,
    haven't had one in such a long time,
    the smile on my face has reappeared you know,
    [Ignoring the grammar issues. How do we know abou tthe smile just becaus eyou told us. When you say, "Finally a good day." we can tell that it hasn't been one in a long time]
    and the circles under my eyes are only slightly there,
    [We know circles under the eyes mean tired. Why put under my eyes if we can already guess]
    As a narrative it's pretty alright, could have been more decent, but as a poem I feel as if it explains too much of things we can already know.