So much to die for...

From first hour forward, I always found differences with the last of my peers
They would discuss certain subjects as I would sit quiet and think differently
The games that they would play would be those that I felt no desire to take part in

With those that I had known for many years, there were only few differences
As much as these may have mattered, they did not drive me away from the trusted few

Sometimes, upon wondering too much, I would feel alone and, possibly, denied
Though I knew that the trusted few would not abandon me, I did not feel correct
When I had glanced into the mirror, I did not see he who I was supposed to be
I saw just another teenager, waiting for something to offer itself to them

One night, while the sun fell beneath the surface and all rest easy and quiet
I studied, intent on finding a certain area where I could feel as though I belonged
For I was tired of feeling alone, with nothing to believe and nothing to care for
As before, my heart lie cool and careless, not minding the state of the outside world
Until, upon studying a certain subject during that warm, summer night
I felt the remaining traces of cool and carelessness being struck out from my heart
In return, hatred and anger had nested within my blood and began to flow with ease

Cool and carelessness were no longer part of the person in which I exist
I was forced from the world that I knew as home; from the world that I had grew up in
Through another long, forgotten period of time, I was taken to a new world
I studied further and couldn't stop as I began to find my place and faith in the subject

From that moment forward, when I had found my faith, I had also found an irreversable change
I felt the anger rush through my mind, washing away the false views of perfection and love
I was drawn from the lifestyle that I had became accustom to over almost a full childhood

Although enraged, through finding a faith that I could believe in, I felt good -
I had been offered a new life with a new beginning, giving something to fight for
I was given something to believe in and finally felt proud of who I was - I felt safe

Though I knew that I had to disagree with a larger number, I became determined
My mind and vision opened up to a strength, full of decent others and a true future
Intelligence seemed to have risen with an extended, more acceptable perseverance
As the truth settled, in my mind and in my heart, I grew with a cause that I am consecrated

From then on, I have became comfortable with the best part of who I have become over time
Though parts of me have died out, given up or become useless and require change, I am alive

Now, only death can claim my existance, and, even then, my soul will live on in the same way
A part of me will be kept in every truth and true form of love, hatred, passion and pride

Proud to say, with my heart and soul, there is so much to die for