Man, this is a very intense piece.It is brutal yet romantic, savage, yet full of love.I can relate to this feeling(in a way-not as extreme-but that is good, you have an excellent sense of drama).It is well written, flows well and is full of emotion.Very powerful.

GaryJ

Beautifull. Emotional, fluid, solid (wow, oxymoron), tragic and romantic, included some good moody imagery. The only thing that bothered me at all was the second (I think) stanza where you rhymed with up. I don’t know of any other ways you could have said what you wanted to there though, so you still win a 5/5. Thanks for the comment. :D

~Purple~

Wow.. that was powerful and quite scary.. it was filled with emotion and the descriptions were very vivid.. there were a few grammer problems but i think that by going over it you can fix them.. nice job! 5/5 p.s. no, no one died but i wanted to try writing an epitaph.. hehe..

I liked this one alot
i know how it feels to be rejected/ dumped by a gilr and you managed to capture the feeling very well
the last stanza rocked by the way, an exellent way to end the peom

Thats a great poem...its my favourite one that u have written...in some ways i can relate ro it but not the killing bit!

Disturbing much? but it was very good..i hav only one question: douse???? and thx for all ur comments...that was very good and the ending really wrapped it up nicely...good title...
love ya lots,
sore

Its nice I love the first five or so stanzas, seems a little forced near the end, some of the rhyme is a little cliched, but thats what happens when you try to write a storylike poem, I have the same problem, the first stanzas were awesome! Then it sort of fades off a bit, but anyway amidst the constructive crits I liked it! It was a great story, is the word prose maybe... Good job!

Wow. That was a good one. There's a punctuation problem, but that's really minor. Good job, I really liked it. :]

Dark and unique! And many thanks for the comment! Peace and love!

Wow...thats intense..your really good at writing..this poem is def. my fav. that you have written.Its very real.. the true emotions are brought out and in vivid detail...great job...5/5

Damn! that's what i call a broken heart! this poem as a sense of anticipation that makes u want to read on and it has a bitter sweet ending that ties it all together. 5/5
xoxo
~waiting~

Good, I liked the story the most. I don't have afavorite stanaz, but sadly i do have a least favorite one, it's stanza six, purely because its far too short and ruins the flow a little.

Brad