Sometimes there's more to life then just thinking about it. There's so much stuff going on in my life that changed me and what i think about those i love and care for. sometimes i want to end things in life... and start over fresh....sometimes i want to forget what i did to hurt those i love or to hurt myself for loving others whom i just care for. i don't even know what i'm saying...all i know is that i'm hurt...i'm so deeply hurt and i don't regret anything...nothing is suppose to be regretted because it is your actions that took you there....why would you regret something when your heart or wat you thought chose that path...i want to know who i am and what i want in life...i want someone to care for me...for that person to realize that i truly care for that person and that i hate myself for doing that if he doesn't even have feelings for me. sigh...wat am i doing...lol...i'm listening to canon and writing this...i'm heartbroken tonight and i hate feeling this way. i feel pain and sorrow and hate and finally weakness and loss. i'm a person who don't want to lose. a person who wants to strive to win all the time. but in life you can't win everything. not even those u truly love and care for. sigh. i sometimes wonder wat i'll do in life....wat i truly will like and whom i truly will love till the end. i don't sound like a 14 year old girl who was once madam president but a 14 year old girl who is crushed by reality and crushed by who she is. i try to understand myself but i can't. i'm a 14 year old girl who thinks that "happly ever after" is the last words she'll hear. i'm a girl with a weakness. a girl whom u see so strong but at the end loses because of what her heart can't take....a girl paralized by love and blinded by reality...a girl who has a weakness....a weakness to lose who she cares for most in life...more then her...probably more then anyone can think of. probably more then reality. probably more then life. is this wat human beings call love...or wat they call going through the stage of growing up?
