If i still had the choice

As I lay awake at night,
I wonder,
If I had the chance,
would I still take it?

to end it all,
so little pain,
for so much freedom,
to fade into nothing,

I begged,
I pleaded,
for him to end it all,
would I let him do it now?

I was still clinging,
to what I couldnt have,
just a dream,
In this dark reality,

but now I realize,
how real life actually is,
and Im afraid to forget,
what I have learned,

my greatest fear,
to lose it all,
Is this reality,
really only a dream?

Is everything im fighting for,
going to leave me agian?
to be left alone,
with nothing,

I never want to feel that way,
to be lost in the dark,
but even in light,
the dark always comes,

and then the dark,
becomes my fear,
that once again ill lose it all,
to be left alone again...