Misery hurts, the pain inside,
is like a volcano waiting to burst,
lava covers on its path,
and everyone only gets hurt.

[Maybe have it like this..

"Misery hurts; all the pain inside,
It's like a volcano waiting to burst.
Lava covers over it's whole path,
In the end; everyone gets hurt."

Up to you though of course.]

In the third stanza, the lines starting going alot longer than the others, maybe you could take out a few uneeded words.

I liked the ending alot. I could relate heaps. It was strong. Keep it up. and thanks for your comment. =) 5/5

Natalie``

Hope thats an african girl well expressed feelings of misery...

Hey thats really really good. i love it!!
xxxxxx

Wow. That was not what i was expecting at all! It's a hell of a lot better. The language used is good. it's emotional but not too much, you know. it says it like it is and it's a good poem.

Thanks for your comment. it means a lot.
Jem

This is indeed a very sad poem(but I can relate as most of my best ones come from pain and depression).The first stanza is worded a bit awkward, but the rest has an unusual natural flow that brings the emotions into focus.The volcano metaphor works well and is very original.It is good to see you are versatile and are just as adept at writing both rhyme and free verse.The last stanza is very powerful indeed.A very good poem.

GaryJ

P.S.
You are a very promising talent and write well beyond your years.
Contact me.Would like to send a personal message.Up to you.

Gary J

Oo I like it!! :)

Welcome to the real world. I liked this poem a lot better because I could relate with it. Excellent poem. The description is wonderful. The emotional impact is much appreciated by me.

Three poems. That is all I get. Is it something that I said? You are so cruel, lol. :)

Hey alex,

That was an awesome poem i like alot of your poems. You write Awesome

Da waz awesome! da best! ur good!

Thats really awesome chika! i like it keep it up, people can relate kk! be happy!
*~Corona LOVE

Wow. I really really like this poem! You have an amazing sense of articulation. You know just how to explain what you want to say without using too many words or too many descriptions. And you tell me I was good? Compared to this? Nah, I think you deserve the gold.

I really like the third stanza...it's deeper than the others...u deserve a 5..but still..u can do much better ;) btw,thanx 4 the comm at my poem :D

God... I'm speachless... This was amazing.. truely.. You have a beautiful mind.

Good enough ..keep it up

Good work i could really feel what you are talkign about good descriptions... please take a look at my other poems and let me know truthfully what you think?

This poem really conveys ur feelings of miseryi write 1 but it was too strong this 1 is just right :)

Yes that's it. I like this poem cuz it shows the facts of growing up because the teenage part of life is where we find ourselves

I like this one it's really good.

and ty for the comment on my poem you are so right!

Kim xo