Comments : The Bridge, New Year\'s Eve

  • 18 years ago

    by motley girl

    Hey guys,
    this is a ghazal, which is a poem that is a series of at least four couplets all about the same (ish) thing but it is mandatory that they are very disjointed and hard to figure out. it was hard for me to write. just for clarification, after the second couplet, it is a memory

  • 18 years ago

    by erratic hippie

    I think mr.fitz would agree you really captured the 'heart' of the guazal here...hehe, remember how much he emphasized that? just one suggestion: the repetitive 'of' in the second line stands out too much...jarringly so...and it's annoying when a little thing like that can interfere with such a great piece. see if you can find a way to weave around the grammar in the first couplet so you can change that, eh?

    i am very jealous right now, btw, i completely *bombed* the guazal assignment -_-"