The Vicar

The day the vicar came to tea
He only ate one garden pea
I thought he'd eat more of course
Because I'd boiled him up a horse
That left way too much food for me
Cos i'd fried myself an old donkey

He sat down to a lonely egg
When he went to see old Mr Pegg
I saw him dance a merry jig
As he casseroled his faithful pig
The vicar stated " I come from York
And as such,do not eat pork"

Again he snubbed Sir Horace Fogg
Who tried to serve up scrambled dog
And Mrs Olive Gimps was left agog
When she presented him with a pickled frog
Chef Pierre too was out of luck
As the vicar declined to touch his duck

And now i've only just found out
He only had a single sprout
When he visited Mrs Ava Flanders
"Those were me bestest ganders"
We could all hear her shout
And then she told him to get the hell out

The last straw came one November night
The clergyman caused a terrible fight
"You pigs eat too much and all are fat
That's all I have to say on that"
The room went quiet and hearts beat quicker
As we rushed to barbecue the vicar

The moral of this story is true
Don't ever let this happen to you
Some people say this tale is sad
Others say that I'm just mad
Just close your mouth and eat your food
And you will see your life is good