Waiting...

I appear neutral
Yet trying to Hide
My fear is waiting
Here at my side
My hurt only tagging
Along for the ride

His face seems calm
Convinced that it's fake
As I sit here to wonder
How much can I take?
Just how many more
Mistakes can I make?

Afraid that I'm losing
This battle within
Fells like that I
Myself am a sin
Drowning inside
My mind's deadly spin

Every thought
Leads to his face
The memories speed
As if in a race
Clinging to life
And its deadly pace

Breath caught in throat
Just can't go on
Will my heart beat
Til the start of dawn?
Or am I just another
Useless Pawn?