The rhyming seems a little forced, but this poem was really good Smelly Nelle. =) I mean, yummy Nelly. Neenurr. I love you.

5/5
Toni

I agreewith lolliepop but i really liked this piece because it's filled with emotion i can tell.

5/5

brill work once again nell

gemma in cheshire

Have to agree with the others that some of it does seem a little forced but it comes straight from the heart. It is open honest and raw and for that I give you 5.

Yeah, it indeed seemed like some rhymes were forced. I think you should cut down some of the words in certain lines too. But you did pour a lot of emotion into this poem. Like all of yours. That is something that I haven't been able to do. Awesome stuff.

I like this poem, but some of the lines seemed to go on forever. It had great emotion, I just think if you made some of the lines shorter, and more stanzas, there would be better flow. =) 4/5 xoxo

Samantha

Great job. Good luck :)

Awwwwww that was really touching, I don't have a sister but a brother who I look up to in that way and it reminded me of him. I loved the 'We dont try we suceed'

Awwwwwwww....thts sad....i lik it....it had a good flow...