Girl of the wind

This was so sad and it reminded me of the poems that I started out writing to escape my depression. This was a great poem. *5/5*

Alyson

This was amazing, and it has great imagery

Great work!!...very very well written!...but maybe the better use of punctuations and correcting a few words will make the poem look better thn great!...well...anyways..i guess it has it's own beauty!...Good work on this too!!
5/5!

This was amazing!
I loved the imagery used, and the last line was perfect, so powerful.
5/5

Girlie Goo,

This is a much better poem than "Misery Hurts". The vision is quite good, the flow is also nice. I think there are some improvements that can be taken care of which I will point out.

First of all the flow and the content of your poem until the last 3 lines gave me a vision of a still image of a girl sitting under trees.... and the like... but the last three lines plunge the vision to motion, the girl moves and movement was not something that I had expected. I n the above context itself, the line

"a young alive girl sits on the grass all alone," tells teh reader that the girl is sitting; then the line

"thats why she lays here head upon the ground," tells him that she has lain down which did confuse me a bit as there was no continuity in the Vision; but thenso lonely so miserable "she lays down and cries,
again the next line " just put me off. How can she lay down again, once she has just lain down.

Also "lays" must be "lies" in the line "thats why she lays here head upon the ground," which would better the language flow. The ending is ok for me, I did not particularly love it but neither did it seem odd. But yes, "softly dies" put me off.

For a suicidal and tragedic poem, your poem has quite a light flow and a nice nature imagery. I would have also liek to see the ending described over say 3 lines rather than that one line.