Tired of Trying

There are so many things
I need you to know,
but when I try to explain,
you just don't apprehend.

You seem to listen,
to everything I say,
But for some rhyme or reason,
the connection seems so far away.

I'm so tired of my life,
so tired of trying
Most of the time
I just think about dying.

I've attempted before
to end my life,
but you ran your mouth
& ruined my intent.

I wish you realized then,
the way I loved you,
before I decided to give up,
& push you till the end.

I miss you being around
I miss your touch,
but I don't miss the control
that you showed so much.

I will love you
till the day I die,
which might not be
to abroad time.

The pain Ive been through
the hand I was dealt,
Ive never been healthy
and no one can help.

You've never really been there
to help & support me,
you have no emotions
your a walking zombie.

I tried my best
& got nothing in return,
& now that you know I'm leaving
your willing to show yours.

Its too late now
I'm too tired
so kiss my forehead,
& remember I tried.