Pain in the end

by heartbroken247   Jul 27, 2006


The lies and stories told,
is the only thing left to hold,
The memories are so far and few,
if you only knew the love we had for you,
A mother, daughter, sister, and friend,
we loved and cared until the end,
You where here and now your gone,
permanently; all we're left with is your song,
Now all your pain is gone, you left it all for me to carry,
I love you, I miss you, your daughter, your baby,
I wish i could've taken your pain so it didn't have to end this way,
now i get to carry the pain and your gone anyway,
I carry the nightmares,
and i cry the tears,
The tears of pain and wondering what could have been,
could i have had a mother in the end,
To not have a mother, to be left with no one ,
they say it wasn't your plan to abandon,
Your only girl sitting wondering what could have been,
Could i have had a mother in the end?

*** Please let me know what you think of my poems, Thanks!!!

this is a poem that i wrote after i lost my mother (don't have a father) in november of 2005, may she rest in peace, love you mom.....

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by hbk276

    Great peom

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    First I'd like to say thank you for your kind words on my poems. Means alot.

    You wanted some help with your poetry, So I thought I'd also give you a few tips. While this poem was really heartfelt and touching and sad, and also very easy for alot of people to relate to, there are some areas that could be fixed up. When writing anything, try your hardest to avoid using the words "the" "and" "I" "a" ..A very great writer on this site gave me that tip, It's slowly helping, lol. Also try not to repeat certain words alot, it makes a poem a tad less interesting. If you want to acheive a great flow aswell, try writing the poem, but setting a max syllable count, so say.. 10 syllables for every line, it will help, alot. And most of all, write from your heart. =)

    Please don't take anything I said the wrong way, I loved this poem. In a different way I could relate to it, that's why I liked it. Keep it up, and I hope what I said helps. =P 5/5

    Natalie``

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