Word vomit

Hand to my mouth
wanting to grasp at the air
to pick up the molecules of my voice
and shove the words back into my mouth
back into my head, where no one else can hear them
where no feelings are hurt but my own
and the only reason to cry is from the beauty of everything else
that I can't see

I regret, regret, regret
to live to breath those words,
the ones of brutal honesty that may not be alltogather true
the words I shoved at you,
to land like dirt across your skin
marring the creamy richness of your own words
and my own mind takes up to much space in your eyes
to much space in your heart
real friends wouldn't say such things
and my heart is broken because i've broken yours
and I don't know where I stand anymore

whether my own two feet will lead me on the path i'm supposed to be
or with my words bring a crack in the marble
a sliver in my eye,
fingernails bleeding on the dusty chalkboard, forever to be sent to the office
sitting in the chair, forever short, forever young, forever feet dangling off the ground
scolded, shushed, shunned and my words still vomit forth, to explain truths that are lies that are truths.