Crimson Flow

by *Sweet as your worst nightmare*   Jul 29, 2006


I sit there and stare out the window
Thinking how the rain falls at the right time
Knowing my tears and sadness
Trying to forget the pain
I grab the handle and turn my head
Away from it all
Trying to get away
I watch the crimson flow down my arm
I hear a door close and run into my room
But its all to late you open the door theres no turning back
I run away to hide from the pain
For once you cant find me
You tell me its for myself
But i turn away
Its all turning into nothingness
Just trying to hide
I give it all up
To watch the crimson flow
I listen to myself trying not to cry
No more cares for its no more than a mere threat I'm gone now

Brittni Nicole Leiker

Copyright ©2006 Brittni Nicole Leiker

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  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha Hollywood

    Brittni --
    You did a pretty good job on this one, but it still landed a 4 on my scale. The theme was very vague ;; I really couldn`t grasp the intent of the poem, which really confuses the reader. The flow really didn`t work out -- some of your lines are too long, and, some of them too short. I would consider revising this. I would also suggest re-reading through a couple of your poems, and evaluating them yourself. Then, you`ll know exactly what you`re missing, which allows for easier fixing. Nice job, 4/5.

    Love Much,
    Samantha Hollywood

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