What I needed....

Hiding from these lies and the deceptions he has brought to the table!
Unsure of how to deal with myself, and my passions.
I curl up in a hole, and hide from the world, hide from the ones that I love!
They wont understand the pain I am living through, nor the thoughts that run through
My head at least four times a day, nor will they be able to live with who I am, and the things and
Pain I will cause all of them daily. How could they grasp only that? Its not fair of me to ask them to do
Something like that, for me, someone who will slowly kill them with my pain and anger.

Truly I hate him, I hate what he has done, what he didnt do, what he shouldve done,
But mostly I hate that he wasnt here when I needed him, when I just needed to be reassured that
I am okay, that Im different from him, that I am my own person, who is going to make her own
Mistakes, and not copy his! I needed a warm embrace, a guide, someone to hold my hand the first
Day stepping out into a new world, I needed someone to love me, someone to teach me about
Guys and life. I needed him, the one that wasnt there, but swore he wanted to be. I needed to
Feel accepted, to feel loved, to feel needed, to feel useful, to feel like a daughter! I needed my
FATHER