Brutal

Wow!! very very dark poem! loved the ending and sorry for the VERY late comment...i didn't notice the comment sowiiee =[ anyway to the poem...i think shadowedPhoenix gave you all the critique so i have nothing to say excpet GREAT JOB! I LOVE IT!!5/5
Keep Writing
And
Keep Smiling

Much Love
-*- Tormented
xxx

Great poem- passionate and honest! The two most important things for any good poem! Just little things I picked up

*blood every on the ground* I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say, maybe blood everyWHERE..... or blood- everyone dead on the ground! Something like that- just a minor adjustment:)

*life's and souls of once brave soldier's only to be taken by the outer skirts of hell*
I loved this part, very passionate and brutally honest lol like the title! I especially like the reference to Hell!

*life is like a knife being brutally slit on the throat*
I think for this part if you just said A Knife and left out Life is like.... It sounds wrong to me and by just saying a knife is has i think more of a impact because you're saying now that life IS a knife adding to the brutality of the situation rather then it's LIKE a knife!
*marry go round called life*
It's MERRY not marry

*riped out from his very mouth in order to please the god of war
arias,the devil kin of hell*
Riped- RIPPED, also say God not god- it's disrespectful and arias- Arias, these are icon and idols, people worship them so show respect in their belief! Even you don't agree people will appreciate the fact that their choice is respected by you:)

Well Done Anyways!

Not bad little bro..you have alot of talent..damn you..but hey keep up the good work little one
xoxo
Kay