Really good 5\5. Rhymed really well. It was really sad. Related to it aswell. Take care. Love you to comment on any of mine.

Wow i love love it!! its so good. i kno how u feel. i can really relate to this. this is deep and sad.. but very good. keep on writing u have so much talent. great job 5/5
take care
angie

This Poem Was Amazing. It Ezpressed So Much Emotion.... It Flowed Well And Had A Good Rhyme Sceme.... Overall. 5/5

Wow, this poem is very heartfelt. one of the great poem that i read and can not forget about, great job, also i liked the rhyming.......5/5

I like this poem, well done!
your use of repatition was not only effective, but also quite clever!

the rhyming was good but a little cliche!

still a 5/5 from me!

~Murder.

"with fallen down ceilings"
[That line doesn't seem grammatically correct. Try taking out 'fallen down' and use 'collapsed']

Nice rhymes, and the flow was good.
Simple, yet profund.

Wow, this was really ... Cool!

This was a nice poem, but I think that it could have used a little more emotion. It seems to me that you focused more on the rhming of the poem then you did on the meaning. I like the whole concept of the poem, but it was lacking the sad emotion that was suppose to be there. The flow was good and the rhyming was ok for what it was. But it's the emotion and the imagery of the poem that pulls people in. That didn't happen here I didn't get pulled in. I continued to read because it was interesting, not because I got lost in the emotion, or because the imagery was so strong that I couldn;t take my eyes away. I say what you have here is an excellent beginning and you should take this and turn it into the masterpiece that it can be. 5/5 for the interesting concept.

Best wishes
Letty

Wow, very well written. The flow was good as well as the rhymes. Good job!!!

Ciao, Joe

Wow..i am lovong your poems...they have this strong flow and meaning to them...fantastic poem 5/.5

Hey i really liked how you used repetition and rhyming all together...it was short but oh so good in such little time!! no critique whatsoever!!
>Emily

God the more and more i read the more amazing they get your poems are awesome i really like this one also "rates 5"!

That was really sad but very poignant. I really like the less is more style utilising so few words. The repetiion really adds depth. Nicely done.

I really liked the repitition used in this poem. It gave it a fast pace, but suited the style.

Very good.

Very unique poem. I like how you did each stanza with one of the words in each line. That was very original and I like that.:p

Great poem! I loved it. It flowed well. 5/5

Aww. It's so sad. =( But I know how you feel. Sometimes you just wanna give up and get it over with. It seems that that way, we can get out of anything. But you can't. After something comes up, you need to get through it to be able to face more challenges in your life. Sorry if I sound all wise here. >.<

The poem...was awesome. I love it so much. Even though it was short, it got straight to the point. The descriptions and the imagery you put with so much emotion tied in with it was fantastic. Well done. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

Wow. that was deep. u shud add on to it i wud love to read an extended version. great job. :)

-kay

I liked this, I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and flow and imagery, although I think you could use a little more emotion, really go into detail about why she is feeling that way and how long it's been going on for etc.
Apart from that, I loved it!

Aww.. this is so sad. I liked this poem. Again you have created a wonderful poem. I think that it could have been a little longer though. But the flow was lovely, the rhyming was simple, but it was good, and the message was clear. 5/5 Keep up the excellent work!

Best wishes
Letty