Pushing You Away

Everytime you talk to me
I feel so warm and loved
Which scares me to the bone
I eagerly wait to talk to you
Yet when ever i do
I try to push you away
I never show my feeling for you
Although i think you know
It seems everytime i push you away
You pull me closer in
Im stuck in your net
Powerless to any defences
I wonder if you realise
Im trying to push you away
I wonder if you realise
Im distancing myself as much as i can
You always treat me so well
Why im never sure
I wonder what to do
Whether to be nasty to you
And hurt you now
But saving you from hurt
Sure to occur later in time
Or to treat you nice
As i would prefer to do
But leaving you open
To all the pain i always seem to bring
I want you so much
But no i shouldnt
My head tells me to keep away
But my heart draws me near
I feel safer in your arms
Than iv ever felt in my life
You make me happy
In my sad, pesimistic life
I want u
But know i shouldnt have you
It tortures me to see you
But hurts me to not
I always miss you
But at the same time im too scared to have you.