I don't really know what to write today.
I had the plans, but I threw them away.
I'm cold inside, like there's nothing there,
and I'm surprised to find that I don't really care.
In this world there is nothing I fear,
nothing can make me cry any tears.
Life, death, and darkness, and eternity,
seem foolish now, and mean little to me.
Emotions desert me, feelings are gone,
my soul lays here dieing, as my body lives on.
I don't think it's freedom, because I'm still alive,
but its better than the pain I barely survived.
I remember that day when almost ended it all,
but someone caught me as I started to fall.
I know I should be thankful, and it's not like I'm not,
it's just, emotions are something I haven't got.
So I'm sorry that I seem so distant and rude,
or like I'm always in quite a bad mood.
It's not that I don't like you, it's just that I don't feel
love or hate anymore, or anything real.
I'm broken and empty, and quiet and cold,
a fate not even my namesake cold have foretold.
Will a startling change of events occur?
Or will I end up just like her?
Now I spend countless, endless hours
folding and burning paper flowers,
contemplating heaven and hell,
wondering in which I am to dwell,
or if there really is a life after death,
a place to go when you've breathed your last breath,
or if we're destined to darkness or endless light,
eternal day or infinite night...
But my time runs short, I think I'll go
to sleep or not, I really don't know
what my mind has in store for tonight,
but I won't find out till I turn out the light.
So I'll banish my thoughts to the dark abyss,
and my dreams as well; neither will I miss.
My soul is fading and my heart's long gone,
I don't know what to do but keep living on...
