Hehe its good

Luv this poem! itz so true and beautiful!!!!

Another poem that is very well written and displays your feelings very well.

Below is the poem with suggested corrections:

A tear's running away
from my eye
down my cheek
as I let out a sigh.

Not a sound made,
silence in the air,
no one around,
and no wind in my hair.

Quietly sitting on my bed
looking out my window
as the world spins slowly,
Silently crying inside.

No one understands.
No one listens.
No one cares.
Why can't they see???

These silent tears
bring more pain
than those tears
which are noticed.

Some one should see
the trail on my face
the silent tears left
while running away.

I made a couple word changes that really help to make this piece stronger, though I do admit despite it being very sad it is quite well-done. I feel like there is a lot of depth to this piece. I really do like the verse

"These silent tears
bring more pain
than those tears
which are noticed"

It is a very true statement. At times, I would say that being alone can sometimes be the best thing in the world, but at the wrong times... it could easily be the worst. Just know we're all here for you if you ever do end up feeling this way again.

Comment 4 out of 12.

5/5
Much love,
IdTakeABulletForYou

Great poem i can relate to this 5/5

Sorry I missed this, this is deep and so very true silent tears are more painful.
Hugs

The imagery here is nearly as painful as the tears. Silent tears show that inside there's a battle going on, like a boiling pot and although this emotion is hot; its being kept contained from the world. However, there are times when visual clues, like tears show like moisture released from a pressure cooker.

Well done, Naomi. I hope you're okay.

Michael x

This is so sad but in the same breath it's beautiful

Craig

The tear that ran down your cheek ended up on my lips after reading this I can taste it.
I can taste how bitter this world becomes for us sometimes.
Every word you mentioned is true.