She sits in her bathroom,
Water running down her scarred wrists. She gets the scrubbing brush. Her tears fall down,
She scrubs softly the harder.
Wishing that the pain, her feelings and her scars would just go away. She scrubs even harder. "Go away, please go away. I never meant to hurt anyone, never. Just please go away, please..." She says this while sobbing. She starts to cry uncontrollably. " Why? Why?" She curls up into a little ball, rocking back and forth, the tears falling down. " I'm sorry OK? I said I'm sorry, please, go away. I never meant to hurt her, or anyone, just please go away... I'm sorry... Please..." She cant handle it anymore. She grabs the razor. Crying with so much pain and so much love. She cant understand why she is so unhappy, with her life, with everything. Why she is in so much pain. There are alot of people who love her so dearly... A wonderful boyfriend who would give his life for hers, and an even greater best friend, who loves her more than the world itself. She should be happy, there is no reason why she shouldn't be, but she isn't and she doesn't know why, why she sits here thinking about death, why she hates herself so much. The razor blade poised above her left wrist, above her many scars. She presses down. The doorbell rings, making her jump and making the blade press deeper. Her tears still falling. The bell rings again making the razor slide... By the time her best friend enters the house it is to late. She saw the only person she will ever truly love so so much, fall to the ground, her face awash with tears... Crumpled on the ground, blood pooling everywhere... She rushes over to catch her best friend, to take away her pain, to hold her... But its too late, she slipped away with every drop of blood and every tear that fell... She screams with pain... She blames herself for not doing anything, she thinks its her fault that this happened. She is in so much pain, she loves her best friend so much... She hates herself for not helping her, for not stopping her pain. She clutches the lifeless body of her once best friend... She feels empty, numb... She wants her best friend to wake up, to stop playing. She doesn't like this game anymore. She didn't know she was suffering, that she was in pain. She would of done anything to stop it, anything to help her. She wanted to hold her again, and let her tears fall on her shoulder... She feels scared and alone, wishing that her best friend would open her eyes, that the colour would stop draining away from her lifeless face... Her tears fall down... Full of emotion, her own life was seeping away with every tear that fell. She felt as if she were in a dream, she wanted it to stop now... She looked at her best friends wrist, and saw the blood, the reality washed over her... Her best friend was gone, she could never talk to her again, never laugh or smile with her again, she would never hear her sweet voice, and feel her hand patting her back as she cried on her shoulder, comforting her... She was all alone... She had nobody... She wanted to be with her best friend again, she wanted to hold her in her arms, and feel her hugging back... But that could never be, ever again... She wanted to scream. There was so much pain, so much love for the lifeless body she was holding... She wanted to die.... She saw the razor on the ground, with blood on it, dropped by her best friend... She picked it up. Still holding her best friends lifeless body, she holds out her wrist. She looks at her best friends pale face, kisses her matted hair... Hugging her tightly, she slides the razor... It bites, deep, its painful and she is numb... She looks one last time at her best friends closed eyes, kisses her forehead... Still holding her body she hugs her as tight as she can, never wanting to let her go, never wanting to give up on her love for her... She whispers in her best friends ear... " I love you more than the world, more than anything or anybody, always will, always have... I love you more than life itself... I would die for you..." The last thing she saw was her best friends face...
