To tired

too tired to live
too scared to die
must pull down my sleeves
and keep living this lie
always shameful
forever afraid
why do i have to be crazy
am i better off dead
locked away deep inside
so much hurt and the tears
kept all to myself
for these long painful years
please someone save me
look past my mask
don't feel revulsion at me
this is all that i ask
i won't ever be beautiful
with what my skin conveys
maybe another few cuts
will make this all go away
over and over again
the cycle goes along
i get lost in the moment
then cry because it's wrong
hopefully i will go numb
my heart will turn to lead
then with a slip it'll be over
and i'll finally be dead

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