Hey, i had to read this twice to understand it but i think i finally got it! :P it sounds pretty good. i really loved the end bit , that really stood out to me.
xxxkelliexxx

I was a little confused at what it meant, but I think I understand what you were trying to get across. If I do then if was REALLY good...and if I don't then I'm still really lost, lol. But I did like the phrasiology and the idea of the poem was cool. Keep it up!
~Jules

Good Job! i really really like it. you have a talent!! :D