The Fake

It was great for awhile
nothing good ever lasts;
the damage is done,
but how does this help anyone,
too good to fade away
I just want to breathe,
I hate my soul so much
and I just can't change,
I'm on my own in a sea of darkness,
I can't swim so well
and I won't drown fast,
can't call out for help,
They don't allow it
- the demons in my head,
see this girl - she's a fake,
a phony, nothing's real
but the melancholy,
I can't be saved because
I ease myself with razor blades,
I don't know if this is
revenge or some last cry;
I'm not a writer
or artist of any kind;
I tell how it is '
No once upon a time,
I'm masked by children and
death is on my mind,
God help me for I have sinned,
A wolf can't blow this down,
a knight can't break it in,
I sealed it shut so not
a creak of sun or sound can be fed-
just distant distortion
of a world unseized.