Court on the 15th

With heavy eyes I watch it all
I'm too tired to catch a detail so small
Hidden in the background behind all the tricks
There must be a key to a place where my problem is fixed
But I bet I'd lock myself inside
Finally content with reality fully denied
Death to all outside my safe room
Then I'll be trapped, it'?ll be my tomb

And so my dilemma stands so still
Soon time will be up, patience will of had its fill
Judgment day will come to my door
And I'll bet I'll be curled scared on the floor
You can't rush the end of some thing undecided
Not when sides stand this divided

Still I hear the clock stop
To hit that bull's eye I have but one shot
And who is it that stands in front of my target?
They want me to miss, that's why they guard it
If I shoot that bullet who knows who it'll hit
But that shot in the past is what I must get
No chouse, like a mind controlled slave
All because I've reached this 'mature' age.