Stopped for so long

Iv stopped for so long,
But I'm so upset,
I can't deal with it anymore,
I need it,
I need it against my skin,
I need to do it one more time,
I need to feel the coldness against my skin,
I need to press it hard into my skin,
See it shine in the dim light,
Can't let anyone know I'm doing it,
Not again,
After iv stopped for so long,
They would be so disappointed in me,
To see more scars going down my arm,
Id hate to wonder what they would think,
What they would say to me,
What they would say about me,
But it's not my fault,
I'm just so upset,
That shiny thing is my best friend,
My best friend is a razor blade,
I no it will never b***h about me behind my back or anything,
Like some people do!
But i know one person would hate me forever for doing it,
So for that person i won't do it.
For that person probably saved my life................
Well this time anyway