Im back at it

I'm not understanding
This hold he has on me
On my mind is where he is constantly
One minute my mind is clear and free
Next moment full of depression and anxiety
I'm back where I started
Sad and broken hearted
Crying over a guy who doesn't know what love is
He took that word and just mad it sound good
Talking his street talk..Making it sound hood
I was feeling his style
Now I'm here feeling like a lost lonely child
Who just lost their best friend
The one who promised to be there till the very end
I cant anymore
I need to realize that he is out my love door
Its just killing me inside
To know I lost my one true special guy