Deadly Thoughts

It's something I have yet to do
it's something I haven't gotten around to
the thought lingers in my head
bothering me all the time
thinking that I can just shove it aside
& possibly forget it all together
is nothing short of a crime

It always comes back
stronger & more painful than before
it reminds me that I am worthless
& that I don't deserve to live anymore

I'm sick of myself
& my thoughts are sick of me
If I were to die
they would be set free
left to enter another lost souls mind
but atleast they will be gone
& will no longer destroy mine

looking through my window, twenty stories high
the sky is so calm & blue
as I let out a little cry
I ask myself: "Why can't I feel that way?"
As a tears flow out of my eyes

I guess I will let these clouds be
to enjoy their sky
they are much more deserving
more deserving than I
but my god, what a beautiful day it is to die.