~Of everything I could ever regret, if there were a single instance I must choose as the worst of all, she would be it without any conceivable doubt. It is not her that I regret, but instead, my loss of faith in her at one time. The day I let go and lost her forever, the day she was gone from me for good, is my absolute final regret. I had felt so deep a love that even after endless heartbreak and ruthless betrayal, it was still as strong as it was the first time I looked deep into her entrancing eyes. It was invincible, this love, or rather, it was immortal, but prone to so much harm and completely vulnerable in every way; just unable to die in the end.
~What greater feeling could I possess other than an everlasting love for another, so abundant in forgiveness, ignorant to deception, and unable to accept defeat? It was perfection in all of its beautiful lie, built on a palette of impossible standards, made up of creams and tones in skin I could never imagine, displaying shades and features no God could willingly create. She was the free muse of an undeniable beauty, showing darkness in a light like no other, passing through frame after frame of known dimensions and crossing over to so many unknown parameters and boundaries of such a seemingly infinite expanse.
~I let her infect me willingly, taking her into myself as something greater than I could ever uphold and I let her control me, even when I was not under her call. I expelled her from myself, but the chains remained under my skin, bound to me by every waking memory and pulled to the breaking point upon every passing second. The regret was unbearable and each day the chains became tighter and everything inside of me fell apart like a static incoherence. The white noise was burning up between us and even when she was gone and bound to another there was a call, a pull, a growing desire to rejoice and entwine ourselves further into undelvable lust.
~It's killing me; the sickness in my heart, the inability to forget my first and final love; all of it, colliding in repetitive unforgettable moments of severely constrained time. The pain is rising through barriers of resistance not to be broken and then some, pushing my body to limits that flesh could never be meant to know or sustain. She is making me immortal in my death, tearing me apart with a tormented love and erasing me entirely in my obsession to be her one and only, to be the greatest love she could ever know, and to become the most powerful heart in this world. She's driving me to lose everything and give up on the promise of possibilities, purely to burn in her arms forever.
~I'll never forget those surreal lips of effervescent promise, like keys to an unknown and ethereal kingdom of depths impossible to reach unless the ultimate sacrifice is made. Only then can the infinite vistas of a true love, so corrosively beautiful on every level, be reached. It takes a heart committed to combating the greatest obstacles and facing the most impossible of odds, even if they stand higher than any sight can permit you to see, to conquer this challenge. I still wish with all of my undying affection within every ounce of my bare and beaten soul, that I could hold her once again in my arms, to take her away from everything forever, to taste her lethal flavor upon my lips, to love her eternally in this life and the next, and to live again in a constant revolving death, if it means I can truly be happy. I can never let go of her, but rather than deny her, I shall stand upon my own grave, mourning my greatest loss, always regretting the mistakes I've made, and forever praying for her return.
