Rest at Last

I rest at last
Beneath starry skies
Wishing
Wishing
Waiting
Listening to the disquieting silence
Of yesteryear gone by
Missing
Missing
Wanting
Mom
You left me
When I was in 7th grade
And it hurts me
To say I miss you
To say you're not coming home
Tonight
Or tomorrow
Or next week
Not even on Thursday
Mom
I was born on a Thursday,
Remember?
It was January 3rd, 1991
At 5:16 pm,
Remember, mom?
It snowed
In Austin, Texas
It snowed that night
And you told me once
It snowed because of me
Did it?
Did it snow because of me, mom?
Now I walk through this world
Carrying the weight of the world
On my small shoulders
Wondering
How you sleep
Wondering
Thinking
Are you ashamed?
Are you sad?
Do you miss us?
Do you regret walking out?
I
Hear silent symphonies
Where there is no orchestra
Feel
Rain on my cheek
Where there are no clouds
Wait for
People who aren't coming home
Smell roses
In a flowerless place
Paint the color green
Where there is no yellow
See sunflowers
Where there is no gold
Write poetry
Without a quill
I
Am
No one important to you
But
I would make brushstrokes in black ink
On your walls
I would plant lilacs
In your yard
I would make you jasmine tea
With plums
I would cook you soup
With apricot squash
I would bring fresh coffee
Into your room
And leave it on the nightstand
And turn off the lights
And let you sleep
I would be your daughter
And you would be my mom
You used to read me stories
Remember?
Goodnight Moon was my favorite,
Remember, mom?
Remember how it was my favorite?
And how I would ask you to read it
Again and again
And remember how the bunny always got home
With its mom
Remember?
I'm jealous
I wish I
Could go home with my mom
But oh well
It's not important
Anymore.