Comments : Grasping the Wind

  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Hello new friends
    I'm standing in the corner
    Of a room alone again
    How are you
    Does my name really matter
    It's just a week or two

    *This is confusng. I wouldn't start a song like this. And I would reword the third line it messes up the flow*

    Remember me
    No forget it
    And all of our memories
    The good and the bad
    The moments we had
    In which we were really close

    *Okay things get better here, I'd change the last line, doesn't seem right*

    (Chorus)
    It's like grasping the wind
    Holding on tightly
    But holding nothing
    Like moths to flame
    You get to close
    With only yourself to blame

    *It should say "You get too close" other then that this part is the best.*

    Goodbye
    Its all just a blur
    Gone bye
    A year later
    We've forgot the reasons
    We hated her

    *Okay the emotions change her and I'm not really sure why. Maybe you should explain why. And the part where you said "Gone Bye" is a little awkward.*

    Is it important
    Friends from the past
    Was it worth it
    Do they still care
    Is their heart there
    Or do they even remember your face

    *This part is a little random. I like that you used rhetorical questions though. Makes me think*

    (Chorus)
    It's like grasping the wind
    Holding on tightly
    But holding nothing
    Like moths to flame
    You get to close
    With only yourself to blame

    You justify
    The reasons why
    You leave your friends
    You swore till the end
    You hypocrite
    You're full of it
    You're so selfish
    And that isn't, just isn't

    *I thought this one was stronger than the rest. It seems like it flowed better and was so much deeper*

    (Chorus)
    Like grasping the wind
    Holding on tightly
    But holding nothing
    Like moths to flame
    You get to close
    With only yourself to blame