Disease, inside me

I'm loosing my control
this feeling i can't hold
no longer, anymore
I'm collapsing to the floor

inside my veins, inside my skin
beneath it, are my lies, my sins
i never confessed
i am not blessed

outside nothing is wrong
inside i try to stand strong
every time i lie
one of my memory dies

every time i make a sin
inside me,it seems like someone just stab me with a pin
no one can explain
this unsympathetic pain

as my blood, stream down my whole body
i try to study
what's my disease
that my body doesn't please?

i asked my doctor, he said everything is fine
are they out of their mind?
I've had this disease almost a year!
and somehow it's still here

i guess it's an extraordinary disease
but why can't they see?
i told them what it has done
but they said it will be gone

no trick can break this spell
no medicine can cure this ill
no one can understand me
no one would help me