Thoughts Of Inside

Can't believe the days that pass
They go slow and thoughts of the past
Thoughts of what can happen comes to mind

It's hard because all I want to do is cry
But I don't allow myself; I like to show I'm strong
That things don't faze me, even though it does a lot

I wait until night to cry myself to sleep
Not many people know just what is inside me
But maybe can come close

But then many people don't know
Because of my show, I will be happy and act
Just every kind of way, I will be crazy And just plain dumb

But all because of my depression and being scared
Of what might just come, I don't want to talk I don't want to do nothing but just be felt
As I am loved, that I am cared, that I am someone
Never have I felt that but sometimes close
I want to get there; I want to be at that point
And I will try; I will try by putting on my show

Just because I am scared just scared to be hurt
To be hurt and then just be in a sad mind
Where my mind would be worse then now

I keep a open heart to people I trust
To people who been there when I been dumb
To maybe let them see just what is in me

I can't let myself die but somehow I tell I am
I always said I was tired of trying and of crying
That my show is the only thing that has me alive
But that one day I will stop and let my real self go

Just to show how I am on the inside
Just broken and depressed and a girl just trying to
Look for a way to step out of the dark and into the light
To bring what I learned within with me but yet
To just be a normal girl and to be happy inside.

*Please vote and comment...it would mean a lot to me...I'm trying to get better so i would like to know how i can fix my writing to get better..so please vote and comment**