Why are you doing this donâ??t lie just answer.

[ You need to fix up that error. ]

WHAT I THOGHT WAS BEST.

[ Thought ..not thoght. ]

That soon your gone without a word.

[ You're ..not your. ]

TOO MUCH TO LOOSE.

[ Lose ..not loose. ]

NO THOUGHT COULD SPERATE.

[ I think you meant "seperate" ]

I've written alot of songs aswell, but there not posted on here anymore. && It's hard to critique poems sometimes when you can't hear the music to them..

It was an alright song. Maybe if you labeled what everything was, like chorus, verse, bridge. All that. It might be easier to understand what it'd turn out like.. When you were using the rhyme scheme aabb ...you used the same words, and I thought that threw it off a little. But apart from all that, it was pretty good. Keep it up.

Natalie``

I like the format... its new for me. but then im kinda stupid when it comes to that stuff.. i liked it tho... it helps :)

5/5