My Choice

I know I made a mistake today
I know I did something bad
I did the one thing that everyone would always say
I gave into the sad

I made the choice this morning
A bright and shiny day
How would I know that I would be pulling
Around my hope like dead decay?

I made the choice so sudden
It gave me a fright, why did I say yes?
I know some people will become in-maddened
But you all know I'll do my best

I gave up on dreams
So sadly swirling in my head
I fell into my nightmares, all the screams
And now I wish I was dead

I fell past their arms
So open and ready to catch me
I slipped through their understanding palms
I fell in bid to be free

I know I made a massive mistake
By making this pain alive
I do this now, this is all I can take
Before I lose the life no one can drive

I made the choice to make it go away
I made it right for me
I gave into this beautiful day
I want to be happy

You don't see the tears, welling in my eyes
You don't see my pain, falling from hope
You don't see your words, darkening the sky
You don't see the way I am left to cope

I made this choice for me
So I can smile in my sleep
I made the choice for me
So read my final goodbyes and weep

I gave into the bullying
I gave into the taunts
And now I am left pulling
All these scars that haunt

They made me think of being dead
They made it feel so close
They put the images in my head
They're the problem in the most

I take my time, miss me now
I see you staring back
It's impossible, I don't know how
To stop your face fading to black

My hands where reached out
Ready for you to grab
I told you to grab me, I came at you to shout
But swing around with you knife and you stab

I fall into the dark, you don't understand
You pushed me away today
I reached out for your hand
But you just stared at it without a word to say

I made you think I was happy
I made you thing that I was okay
I made you think that I was me
But now these are the words I am left to say

"You made me feel right, you made me whole
But now you break me from my life
You pull me back into this dark hole
You made me live for the knife"

"You made me think that happiness was gone
That I cannot reach out
That my hope is dead, it was all along
And I have no time left to shout"

"You made me cry thinking of pain
You made me reach out and grab you
I held onto you in vain
But now my pain has become true"

"I try to make you listen
I try to make it fair
But you where so distant
It sounds like you don't care"

I made this choice today
A day that all of you left me
I gave up on words to say
So don't try to make me happy

You all made me cry
You made me think I was gone
As I look into the sky
I probably was all along