Song of My love

Thanks for the suggestion...i submitted this poem a year ago and lazy to edit it again...anyway, tnx again and for the compliments

Really nice one 5/5

I love the theme and atmosphere you've created.

"to tell you and shout the whole world
you are my everything"
I like these lines. Shows you really love this person. But add 'to' between shout and the. It'll flow better..

"since you came into my life,
you touch softly my heart
and caress my hopeless soul searching for
love."
In my humble opinion, i think there's something wrong here. I think you should revise it. My suggestion:

"Since you came into my life,
You touched my heart softly
And caressed my hopeless soul searching for love."

"to make our dreams would be perish,"
I suggest you remove the 'would be', ruins the flow..

"It's not easy that one of us will go away,"
Change 'that' to if or when

"but then, whatever may happen
The love to my heart that I've tend
will linger forever, even my soul already
ascended to heaven."
Change 'to' to in..
Add 'if' between even and my.

"So, while i am here
to stay my time with you,"
I think you should change 'stay' to spend..

"please lend your ears and hear me sing " I
love You"
before my soul say goodbye to you..."
say---says
Other than that, the ending really completed the poem..

Love the emotion and message. 5/5 :)

-X

I loved this poem!!! it was wonderful!! great job!!! 5/5

I loved this poem!!! it was wonderful!! great job!!! 5/5