Wow hunny, this got better the second time i read it! lol.. it is so so so deep.. i could never write anything like that.. (seeee, told you that you were betterr! lol) the flow works perfectly.. the descriptions were powerful and very sad.. i love the metaphors you use too, they really add affect to an already amazing poem! wonderful work, Ily!! 5/5

Holy Hell..that was amazing babe..it was very powerful and i'm just speechless all I can say is Wow!! Absolutely beautiful.

Chains hauling emotions down,
Pressuring force against bones,
----------------------------------------
that is my favorite part, I can relate alot to that. great job babe..ilu! 5/5

Nat, you want to know something. I've seen your poems improve so much that it makes me jealous in a way. This poem was sad, haunting, had amazing word choice and metaphors, and you kept with the right tenses throughout lol

Falling asleep with pouring eyes.
((I loved this line - amazing way to describe crying))
I really enjoyed this poem.. it was absolutely amazing...I really loved everything about it. The flow was amazing and the whole poem very strong. Great job.

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

Very well written deep dark poem amazing work

0mg this was really i dun0 wht can i say. the w0rds the detail the structure. everything was god as. very p0werful. g0od j0b xx

I really enjoyed this! Good job! Thank you for the tips, by the way. I agree with what you put! Thanks!!

-A Fellow Natalie

I like your use of words in this poem!
Every line was really descriptive and interesting.
I'm not sure why, but this line stood out to my interest:
Leaking truth from unsealed pipes,
it just sounded really cool. heh.
sorry I have no real advice except keep it up!

Woooooooooow that was sooooo deep and so well written. You show so much talent in all of your poems! I loved this one the choice of words and descriptions were so well thought of 5/5!

Very creative and original poem. Keep it up

Awh!!! I love iiiiit. Really I do. I like how you manage to word your poems so well, and nothing seems to throw it off, and it was flowing so well.

Once again, great job. I love your use of vocabulary and the flow of this poem. Great Job.

I liked the last line "falling asleep with pouring eyes" because that was a truly insightful way to say crying yourself to sleep. The poetry had a gritty, dark sort of image that followed it...actually, a lot of images, of fleeting thoughts and memories.
I am not good enough myself to analyze this, but I loved it...I cannot criticize, only praise.

//T.L.//

Nice 5/5 I like it. wicked

I did not like this poem at all

Mm now that I read it a second time it makes much more sense.. its about war and many other things at the same time... i actually really like this poem :D

I lik this one but for some reason im scared......well keep on writing with your master pieces of poetry....

5/5
You put meaning to words.
Then you put them into sentences.
Its incredible each line is its own heartbreak.
I love your work
~emah

That was beautiful

Perfect structure.
Perfect flow.
Perfect words.

no criticism. seems like u have it all undercontrol.
~Emah
5/5