My Suicide, My Mistake

This razor blade so sharp and bright
Across my wrist, It's taken flight.

The small voice inside my head
It's screaming, "You'll end up dead!"

I will not show my fear
The time to go is finally here.

Though I am scared and so unprepared I will be brave.

Something though, is nagging.
I miss you already it seems.
I bring it across and suddenly I hear screams.

From me?
Well that can't be, I'm silent.

There you are, in the doorway crying.
You scream and scream, "She's dying, she's dying!"

I'm getting dizzy and so scared, and you hold me in your arms and take the blade away.

I ask so nicely for you to give it back but you ignore me and throw it in a sack.

Please oh please talk me through it!
All I hear from you though is, "How could you do it?"

Mommy walks in the door and screams
Daddy runs through the door and steams
Sissy cries out and falls on her knees
Bubby runs "Can I help pease?"

Mommy's scared
Daddy's angry
Sissy's horrified
Bubby's clueless
And You, you're here.

"You'll be fine," You say
I shake my head and look away.

I don't want to be fine
I want it to end

I hear the sirens, see the light
I suppose it's time to take flight

You squeeze me and kiss me and cry so hard
I didn't mean to make you hurt

My blood is flowing
I must be going

I did this because you love her.
Now that I am out of the way you can be happy.

Just before I go completely, you whisper but I'm sorry I didn't hear. You say it again and again and again. Finally I hear and I realize my mistake.

"I love you, I love you so much." You say again and it's hard to believe such.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." You say and I feel myself crying, feel myself dying. "I love you, not her. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, but now I know."

What do you know? I can't hear the rest of what you say, because I hear another voice, I hear it say, "It's time to go, so say goodbye. This was your mistake and now you we must take."

The light is bright and shining and now I am floating.

This was my suicide
I wanted so bad to die.
This suicide was so wrong
Now I'm gone.
This was my mistake.