Words Written in Bittersweet Regret

Was it when you said
'Youre the most amazing thing in the world, my darling'
or was it before that?
I'm not really sure, so enlighten me
you were always so much better at this than I ever will be.

I stood and suffered for every time you made the same mistake
but still watched you live free
You are just too cute for your own good
That puppy dog face you were born with
is your biggest weapon and greatest downfall.

We are taking this way too far
but do you really want to stop?
Cause I sure as heck never will
You were always so much better at this than I ever will be.

I thought you'd scream when I said no
I'm not like the other girls
I wont throw myself away to get you to stay
I wont fall to my knees and let you take over
I'll never belong to you and that makes you crazy.

I wasnt just kidding when I said you were beautiful
That day out in the rain
When you said the words I feared most
Yet longed for nevertheless
You are the best thing in my mind right now
And the worst for my heart.

Alright now, pretty boy
Take your pain with the kerosene
I'll tell you when the flames have reached your soul
I feel no regrets
but I still hold true
when I told you that I loved you.

My mind is filled with 'Maybe if I's...' and 'Perhaps if we had's...'
But we'd both be kidding ourselves
You were always so much better at this than I will ever be.

(Wow... okay, that felt good to write. Dont ask me to explain it, please, and dont tell me if it sucks because I know it does. It just needed to be written.)