It took suicide for me to see...

I guess I'll never know
How much pain you didn't show
You kept it locked up inside
You always chose to hide
Until it was too late
You shut and locked the 'gate'
I guess it was the only way
For you to forget that day
You chose to end
I lost a friend
Last thing you said
"Be a leader, don't be led"
I guess you were right
What you said opened up my sight
I stopped standing at the back of the crowd
Start being more loud
I stood up tall
stopped feeling so small
I guess it was just me
Who ever knew I could be
As excited as I am now
But my question is "how?"
How did you know?
That before, I felt so low
And why it took me
Your suicide to let me see
Just how fun life is
How cool it is to live like this
All happy and great
How good it feels to be called "mate"
I guess I should appreciate life
Stop turning to the knife
Do right
Don't fight
Co-operate
Follow what fate
Has install for me
To be what karma wants me to be
I guess I was pretty stupid
Not agreeing with cupid
Took me forever
To see what I never
Saw before
Not going to do it anymore
Your gone and I feel bad
You left 'cause you were sad...
I cant help but feel it was because of me
Why couldn't I see?
Just how miserable you were
I cant help but think, was it all because of me, her?
She led you, thought you were scum
Like the gum
Stuck on the bottom of her shoe
That was you.
You told me to lead
Told me to be the one to feed
All the others
Sisters, Cousins, Brothers
With all the cr*p
That they used to dump in my lap
You dying words were
"Be a leader, don't be led"
So that's what I did, I stopped getting fed
Stopped listening to the others
They're sisters, cousins, brothers
I went my own way
Said what I had to say
Stopped eating out of their feeder
I became a leader
Stopped getting led
I became independent