You Knew I Was Scared

I'm sitting here alone
Hoping i might get a glimpse of you
A sms, an email, a message
Anything that comes from you
I was supposed to be with you tonight
But im sitting here all alone
Craving your attention
Wishing i was next to you
Laying in your arms
The only place i've ever felt safe
Instead im here
Pouring my heart out
To words that will never love me back

It tears me up inside
Not being with you
I never get to see you
You're always too busy
I know you're not messing with others
But you dont seem to mess with me either
I know you care about me
But you're tearing me apart

I never wanted to fall for you
All the times i said no
But you were so persistent
You knew i was scared
And promised to take away my fears
And wipe away my tears
But here i am tears streaking my cheeks
As i sit here and wonder
If i'll ever see you again
I need you to hold me
But you don't seem to realise

I know i dont have anything to offer
Nothing that you want
I can't open up to you
Too scared i'll get hurt
Yet here i am deeply cut with pain
I'll give you anything you need
If you promise to stay
I'll give you sex, ill give you my heart
I'll learn to open up
I just want you to hold me
Just to make me feel safe and happy

And if you dont want me
If you've lost interest in me
I want you to know
I'd give up all my past and future happiness
Just for you to hold me one more time
Just to feel safe for ten last minutes
Just to not feel empty one last moment

If only you read this poem
And knew how much i meant every word
If only you knew how much you truly mean
But i guess you never will
Just like you'll never see this poem
And you'll never know i cry myself to sleep
Each and every night that im alone
Thinking of you, and how much im going to lose
When you realise im not the one for you.