Fuked up Love

(i was clean for a couple weeks but i relapsed..yet again...so this poem is pretty long and might not make perfect sense but take it as u will. comments are appreciated)

FuKeD uP LoVe
Oh how i love him, more then anyone else.
But i know soon he\'ll leave me, like everyone else.
The person I am, is not who he is.
He wants me to change, though i love him, it is what it is.
When it comes to me
The 'Princess of self-destruction\' is who I\'ll always be.
You say that you love me, but i know that you don't.
When you really get to know me, i know that you wont.
I am who i am, and you are who you are.
Truthfully, im suprised it got this far.
No matter how hard i try, i still remain the same.
Some day soon, you'll wish you never even know my name.
And i am sorry for the way that i am and the things that i do.
Just know before you leave, i've only ever loved you.
I don't want you to forget about me, but i know that you will.
The love of a tweeked out chic like me aint hard to fill.
I wish things could work out with you and me,
But i know your starting to see
that all these things, aren't worth being with me.
I will always miss,
Each and every beautifully sorrowful kiss.
And my sweet sweet sorrow is this,
That with you i really did try.
It all makes me wanna cry.
Because i know that once you leave, you'll never again be mine...
And i'll never again be fine.
But thank you baby boy, for all you did for me.
Thank you for the compassion that you've had for me.
I wish i could be
All you wanted me to be.
But we both know that that wil never be me.
You gave me peace, in a dark time when i had none.
I'm greatful for what we had, we really did have some fun.
So sad, that soon it will be done.
And back into the shadows i go, the ones from wich you once saved me from.
All the good times and the bad,
I am greatful that we had.
But without you baby, i am so sad.
I wish you wouldn't leave me baby
How i wish you would save me...
From these twisted tendencies that always fuk with me.
I don't want you to leave, i wish you didn't have to go
For once your really gone, emptiness once again i'll know.
The end of you and me is near, i can feel it coming.
You and me, me and you...the end of our loving.
I appreciate the time you spent and the love you did give,
Know in you heart you gave me such a beautiful reason to live.
So what do i do after your gone? When you and me are no more.
I guess just bo back to the gacked out way things were before.
Cause without you, i have only this bag of dope to hold..
Tell me what im supposed to do when the warmth in me turns to cold.
But i know that you tried, as hard as you could...
And i'll always love you for that, know that i gave you as much as i could.
My tear drenched sorrow,
Knowing you won't be here tommorow.
You stayed as long as you could, i know.
Forgive me for wanting you to stay, when i know you have to go.
So when the end comes, i'll kiss your lips one last time....
The last time you'll ever be mine.
I'll love you always, you'll be a part of me forever...and never....
For you will move on, to a better life without me.
I wish the best for you, and i set our broken love free.

Written by:Princess of self-destruction aka brittany~copright@