Broken

OK, we'll start with the technical aspects:

There is a spelling mistake in the last line of the first stanza. Hole should read whole.

The form feels a little disjointed. The repition of the Broken chorus makes the poem feel like a song, which is fine, but the rest of the poem does not follow a set meter to unify that feeling.

A poet often says more important things with less words. Read over this piece and highlight the areas that fill out the poem and seem less important. Read it again without the highlighted sections and see if the overall message you are showing the reader is the same. If it is you have made the poem better.

I like the sentiment of this piece. I think it could be made better by having an oxymoronic tilt to make it stand out over and and above most of the other love poems on the site, but it's a fair poem nonetheless and it is clear that you have thought about what you wanted to say.

Keep it up.

A very powerfull poem, though it feels a little incomplete.

This is very good.. I give you a 5/5.. Keep writing..

This is a really good poem. It sounds a lot like some of my work, because it talks about love, but, just like in this poem, love isn't always as happy as it seems.

This is a really good poem. It sounds a lot like some of my work, because it talks about love, but, just like in this poem, love isn't always as happy as it seems.