There was nothing at all.
I was dancing with the moon.
There was no one there to catch me when I fall.
There was no afternoon.
There was no one besides me, no one to help me crawl.
There was no time, no months, no June.
There was no clothes, no love, and certainly no shopping mall.
I wanted to leave, and I wanted to leave soon.
I wanted to be able to play baseball.
I wanted to talk to my family, even my Grandmother who's an old prune.
((I really didn't like this...it got worse and worse and the stanza went on.))

Otherwise, I really liked it.. It was strong and the beginning was amazing. It told such a wonderful story, and it's a lot different from the 'I want to die' poems. I loved the ending as well.. work on the middle and you have a perfect poem.

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

Wowee-- A raunchy dark poem, or song. I dunno. But I liked it.

I loved these lines:

I do not want to kill myself, I pleaded but no one listened to what I said.
I just wanted to be loved, I just wanted you to see the blood I have shed.

..They were awesome! Keep it up!

Natalie``

..And by the way, In one of your comments you said something about the style I used, like why I followed those rules instead of doing my 'own thing' ...well just to answer your question, I do them for more of a challenge. :] ..Annnnnd, you said you didn't like "Non bullet proof" but I think it's cause you didn't realize the hidden meaning. but that doesn't matter.

Great poem, thought the stanza which xdark suicidex posted up did go on abit to much!
anyway great poem!
love mel

Wow. your imagery and affection throughout this piece was just incredible. you certainly do have a way with your words. you know how to say exactly what you are trying too. that is hard for some people!