I am proud of who I am,
although I dare not speak,
for you know not the price I've paid,
that's called me here so weak.
I come from a place uncertain,
where lies and people made me cry,
and so I dare not speak to you,
my wishes slowly die.
They used to scorn and laugh,
when I did there make a sound,
my words would drift through windows,
of thoughts that hung around.
You can never know this,
for I have no way to say,
that I do not hate you, my friends,
but later you just may.
I cannot feel hate again,
the emotion was wasted for sixteen years,
on pety fights and yells abroad,
on shallow thoughtless tears.
It used to be a part of me,
this hatred so unknown,
and if you were to know this,
distortion like a game of telephone.
You have grown up normal,
but I myself have not,
I fear staring, lies, and talk,
whereas you may fear a lot.
You could never understand,
I love you all despite,
this hatred turned to sadness,
sitting deep within my fright.
Hate me if you feel the need,
I understand you well,
for that web of crazy lies,
was once where I too fell.
I know I must look evil,
when I stare coldly at a wall,
but try to understand, my peer,
it is by not I fall.
I have only learned from those,
who whispered me to sob,
so when I walk on past you,
do not think me a snob.
I am merely afraid of doubts,
that my voice you will hear,
even when I listen to your words,
because you sit so near.
Only time will tell,
if you have learned what I've said,
for after I have written this,
these words are good as dead.
If only I could tell you,
for you have no way to know,
that I only want to talk to you,
and be part of your show.
So I will close because,
this meaning has no proof,
and you will never notice me,
my thoughts will hang aloof.
