This is a good poem, but i think u should add a little bit more to it, u t goin great!!

I agree with the person above...I really enjoyed this write but I think I would have enjoyed it more if it was a bit longer! Excellent write though Kaylee..great choice of words!
Krissey

You really have a weird imagination :P haha that's all I can think of reading your two newest poems. Wow, that's really good Kaylee, this can take you far!!!.. You should start writing stories.. I would read them!!.. Can't wait to see the finished version of this :D

So far...it's nicely done. I'd love to read it when it's finished though. So make sure you tell me. Tehe!

But, for how much you've got on this poem so far, it's good. I like how you have certain lines in [ ] those. Awesome job! Just finish it, tehe! =P 5/5

Natalie``

I think its a definate work in progress....it sounds great so far, even if it doesnt rhyme. nicely layed out too-i like the way you have used [] in your poem.

let me know how it ends.
october xx

I liked this one, but I have no idea why... It flowed nicely and had a good point to it...But I don't know what it was about it that I really loved...

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

For being so short, it was a clever and very well delivered poem. Once again you show your creativity and poetic ability. I can't wait to read more of your poetry.

Kaylee,
I thought this was really good, it was capturing from the start and once you have worked on it more and added to it, i am sure it will be absolutely awesome.
I liked the set-up and flow.
well done
xxx

The first line is nigh on perfect but the Darkness line needs work to make it bounce and flow in the a b a b manner that you achieved for the Wheel line.

I like where it is going, but yes you do need to work on the flow.

I look forward to seeing what you do with it.

Bret

I liked the simplicity of this poem but the imagery was so bold n imaginitive, wat amazing talent!!

Wow...O.o I'm really impressed with your work. I also appreciate that you comment on my poetry, helping me to learn how to fix it. :-) Beautiful, Beautiful poem.