Tearing Us Apart

by Lauren   Aug 21, 2006


He proved to me something I didn't believe,
he showed me that my heart wouldn't always bleed.
He took my saddened soul,
and with his love, made it whole.
He gave me everything I could ever ask for,
but somehow, I still wanted more...

I told him that he meant the world to me,
that without his love, I wouldn't be.
And that every night, I'd wish on the stars above,
for everyone to understand our love.

But they never did,
and everyday they'd tell me how he had sinned.
On loving a girl, much younger than he,
and how we could never be.

*this is a whole bunch of thoughts together...I'll turn it into something better...something that makes since...

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  • 17 years ago

    by babblingxbrooke

    I thought this poem made perfect sense..it was beautifully written..nice job!=]

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    This was rather delightful to read. It has a wonderful diction and plot. The theme was also organized and progressed quite well. When I reread it, it still held the same effect to me the first time a read it--simply endearing and lovely. =] I'm looking forward to read more of your work.
    Regards, Marian

  • 17 years ago

    by swill

    Omg lauren...is this another heart break?
    i wish i could help...
    if it is, then its bad..
    it it isnt, then its worse...it would mean you still havnt come to terms with the last one.

    any way, i hope you find your way out..
    I'm here for you...

    try and add me:
    dhaval_shah1@hotmail.com

    its been a long time since we spoke. i was just going thru my comments and i read a convo of ours...and felt really bad that we stopped talking because of my ExAMS! So I wanna talk again! Add me!

    Love you!
    Dhaval

  • 18 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Great poem. I loved the plot. The rhyming was excellent as well as the flow. I really got lured into this poem and understood it 100%.[[Keep it up]]]

    && I'm so glad you started writing your quotes again, they'e always amazing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Dan Bloom

    Words of advice...

    EVERY SWEET GUY WANTS A SWEET GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    why dont girls understand? A girl that say hey loser should expect a hey beautiful why dont we go on a date sometime? or something its bull lol sweet guys who can show emotion need to me shown emotion themselves or they will feel horrible...the end jeez i hate girls who think they can disrespect guys and get a perfect guy in return i just hate it.

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